I lied

Yep, I lied.  I know I said I was going to rekindle my relationship with this blog by talking about all my wedding planning in here.  But it seems that no matter how hard I tried, I just don't feel it.

Probably because the Beach Bum moniker is no longer a part of me.  Do I still wish I could get paid to be a beach bum?  Uh, YEAH!  But I just don't feel as attached to this part of the web as I once was.

So I've been blogging over here:  http://irunyourun.wordpress.com.  Yep, non-anonymously and all.  And I decided that though running is a humongous part of my life, at the moment, so is wedding planning.  So, I'm also sharing my non-running life over there.

Want to read about the wedding?  It's all here:  http://irunyourun.wordpress.com/category/wedding/ with more to come, of course...

Turns out I'm much better at posting over on the other blog, than I've ever been over here.  So come on over and say hello!

How to get married in the Catholic Church in 100 easy steps

I am not very religious, so a church wedding has never been my priority. I’m a so-called non-practicing Catholic.

My parents marriage is my dad’s second foray into the married life, so they were also not married in church. But turns out that my dad “made a face” when my mom suggested that I might not have a Catholic ceremony.

Turns out, the Catholic church is SUPER bureaucratic. It’s almost as if I’m dealing with a government office…

So the Boy and I went to our “pre-cana” orientation here in Arlington. There were about 40 other couples there. We left with a folder full of paper and paperwork we needed to complete:

-I need to have my paperwork (baptism, confirmation, etc.) sent from Brazil to the church in Arlington, VA
-Each of my parents need to sign an affidavit on my character, and have it notarized
-We each need to answer a questionnaire online, the results will be then sent to the Priest for analysis
-We need to either attend a day-long “Conference for the Engaged” or a weekend-long “Engaged Encounter”
-We then meet with the priest to discuss the results
-The priest needs to complete a “dispensation” for the Boy, seeing he is not Catholic
-The priest will send the information to the Diocese in Arlington
-The Diocese will then analyze it, and forward their recommendation to my church in Brazil
-The church will then send it to the Bishop for analysis, and hopefully approval.

After reading the descriptions of the “Conference for the Engaged” and the “Engaged Encounter” we actually chose the weekend-long one. We surprised ourselves in picking that one, but when we read the description, we thought it couldn’t hurt, and it might be a good process to go through whether you’re Catholic or not:

“An atmosphere is created for the two of you to concentrate exclusively on each other, free of the distractions, pressures and interruptions of daily living – a “time out” away from home, friends, and wedding preparations. There are no group dynamics or group therapy. It is a quiet weekend, specifically designed to give you the opportunity to talk honestly and intensively about your future together.

Among the subjects you will have an opportunity to discuss with each other are your ambitions, goals, attitudes about God, sex, money, children, family, and your role in the church and community. Personal reflection and couple discussion are the main focus of our weekend. Since each relationship is in a different place, your private answers will be unique and special to your relationship.

Engaged Encounter focuses on communication in your relationship. You will learn new tools for listening, writing and enhancing your communication with each other.”

(It couldn’t hurt, right?)

So far we checked most of those boxes on that list, having completed the Engaged Encounter a couple of weeks ago (and luckily there were no topics that we hadn't discussed!) and it was nice hanging out with the Boy not worrying about routine stuff. I definitely recommend it, even if there were awkward moments hearing the hosting couples talking about their sex life in details.

My baptismal certificate just arrived yesterday, so we need to give all the paperwork to the church and finally meet with the priest.

Now that most of the grunt work is done, I'm glad we eventually chose to get married in church. My parents picked an amazing location, a small church built in 1750 in downtown Rio.

Imagine how the pictures will look like in this place:

Long time!

I haven't posted in a long time, and was even considering not posting here again. But I'm still posting about running, and have been posting wedding related stuff, over at the Bridal Bloggette -- but no one else seems to be reading, or even posting, for that matter. So I'm feeling a tad lonely. And for that, I decided that I'll start copying my posts from there into here (editing it here and there so they are up to date), until we're all caught up.

Yes, it'll be wedding talk over at the Beach Bum place! Remember when my life was interesting and full of tales of bad dates? No so much anymore...

And here we go... My first post over there? Appropriately titled "Cliché"

---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ----

I hate to sound like a cliché, but I hope to lose weight before the big day.

I have been the same weight for years now, after gaining tons when I moved from Brazil to the US. It seems that every foreigner that makes their way to the States gain weight. I've tried diets before, with little success. I've always been very active -- I play volleyball (and was playing obsessively prior to meeting the Boy), I run (ran a half marathon last year, two 10 milers, and 9 other races) and I bike (in the summer I was commuting to work by bike -- a 21 mile round trip at the time).

When I started commuting by bike, I thought that surely it was going to make a difference, I was biking 100 miles a week! But it didn't. When I started running longer distances, I also hoped that it would make all the difference, after all, running 3 miles for me is much harder than biking 20 miles! I was more toned, that's for sure, but the weight? Same. The measurements? Same. I was just less jiggly.

So now we are 7 months away from my wedding date, and the thought of wearing a strapless dress, while my jello arms are on show scares me, but not nearly as much as having those pictures for the rest of my life mocking me.

So on a diet I go. It's hard to do when a big chunk of your friends are part of your running group. And runners? Eat like there's no tomorrow. I will have to find the right balance between running long distances and still eating enough not to mess up with the run or my waist line. When you suck up on Gu mid-run just to replenish calories during the run, it makes it hard to later say "no" to all the yummy things you think you earned.

Last month, the Boy and I booked our tickets to Chicago. This year, not only am I running 3 half marathons, and at least two 10 milers, but in October we will be crossing the finish line on our first marathon.

Surely that should help shed those pounds, no?

Let's hope in November, when I walk down the aisle, all the hard work will have paid off...

Update

I have been a bad blogger... I've been blogging over my running blog, and also have posts at the Bridal Bloggette. So somehow, a whole month went by and though I've blogged, I've neglected this little corner of the world.

Wedding planning is busy. I got my Save the Dates ready (though there will be more to send later), my parents have booked the church, the reception hall, the photographer, the DJ, the florist, the caterer, and even a "samba school" band to greet us at the reception for an hour (that should definitely get people dancing!).

Tuesday, I even found my perfect dress, but now I have to wait 8 months to wear it :(

I'm definitely not an "it's my day, it's all about me" sort of person. We're all thinking of what will be best for the guests -- and the truth is? Brazilians know how to party! It's going to be a small wedding (the church only fits 100 people...), but anyone who makes it out to Rio, will agree that it was worth it!

This is a preview... The church:


The reception hall... this is their outdoor area, with the glass ceiling, that closes in case of rain:

!!!

I arrived in Seattle on Tuesday afternoon, after the storm that was coming to DC forced us to change our travel plans and leave town almost two days early.

On Thursday, the Boy took me out to a fancy dinner at the top of the Space Needle. Dinner was good, we stuffed our faces, even ate dessert.

After paying the bill, he pulls out a card and hands it to me. He says "just read the pre-printed part, I want to read to you what I wrote."

And he reads off from the card. I interrupt him twice to give him a peck on the lips. His words are sweet, they are bringing tears to my eyes.

He finishes what he has to say and stands up. I stand up. I hug him. He kneels down, I sit down. He tells me to get up.

There, in one knee, he asks me to marry him. I say "yes, of course" as I wipe tears off my eyes.

We hug. The restaurant explodes in applause. People go "OH MY GOD! He just proposed!"

Girls yell "show me the ring" "Oh, girl, he means it!" We have our picture taken.

The waiter comes over, and points to a couple two tables away "They are sending you a bottle of Dom Perignon" (now how freaking nice is that?!)

We finish the bottle, and join his sister and husband at a K's Choice concert (I had never heard of them, but they're pretty good!).

The waiter comes over with gorgeous flowers. Then comes back with a yummy dessert (the second dessert of the night, ooops) and in chocolate syrup "No Take Backs" is scribbled on the plate.

I was so afraid that it wouldn't be special... But it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing.

Here's the obligatory picture of the engagement ring... (ignore my old-lady-like hands)

It's sparkly. And perfect. And just right.

The Boy? Will continue to make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I can't believe a little over a year ago, he was just the "Pretty Boy" I met one night at karaoke... It was a long way here, with lots of bad dates and wrong guys. But waiting for the right one? Totally worth it.

Busy?

Life has been busy. But when you ask me what I've done, I can't really pinpoint to anything that would justify the "busy" part. It's not like I have events day after day. It's not even like I have fully picked up my half-marathon training.

I go to work. I go home. Once a week after work, I have volleyball. Once a week after work, I run with my running group (and I really should be doing this 3 times a week...). On Saturday mornings, I go for my long run. We then eat, and go home.

How is it that I'm just SO tired? How is it that I have NO time?

The wedding planning hasn't taken much time, though I admit I've wasted hours online looking at ideas. Why is it that someone who has never dreamed of a "perfect" wedding, all of a sudden becomes obsessed when it's my turn?

My mom hired a wedding planner, so she's been looking at places, finally found a photographer (just need to sign the contract), and dealing with the rest of the details. Me? I'm just wasting time online.

I am still not fully unpacked after moving. We went on vacation, I got sick, and now my place is still a mess. I just can't seem to have the energy or time to get things in place...

This is going to be a long month...

Trips!

I have spent well over a year without putting foot in an airplane, which for me is a really really long time. I grew up with a dad who was a pilot for the Brazilian Air Force, after all, and we never went more than a month without taking a trip somewhere.

But this year, it'll be a busy year... I just got back from Brazil 2 weeks ago...

In 2 weeks, I'm off to Seattle (and the surrounding hoods) to meet the Boy's family. I know, I know, with well over a year together, and a date picked for our wedding, I still haven't met them. We were going to plan on a trip last year, but when his grandfather passed away and he took time off to go there, there was just not enough days off for him to go back.

Then in May, we're off to Charleston to visit his best friend. They're having a baby shortly before then, so we will also be meeting the new baby boy.

In October we're off to Chicago, to run the Chicago Marathon (!!!!). It'll be my first marathon EVER. I have a feeling it'll also be my last marathon EVER.

In November, we're off to Brazil. To get married!!! We picked a date, November 27th (we figured Thanksgiving weekend will be the easiest for people to take time off). No, the Boy still has not dropped to his knee and proposed. We actually had a long talk about this a few days ago when, in tears, I told him that the proposal will just be a formality since we're already wedding-planning, informing people of the news, etc. We're engaged in every sense of the word, except I have no ring. He was taken aback, told me to trust him, and that he still will plan a surprise proposal so that even though we are doing things backwards, it will still be special. We will see.

On that note, lately there has been a lot of "don't come in the room right now!" "Don't look at my computer screen!" "Close your eyes really quick while I do something" and "Trust me, ok? It's for you. One day I'll be able to tell you the story and you will understand, just not now."

I'm looking forward to all the trips, even if they're going to cost quite a bit of money. We're now trying to pick a honeymoon spot. So many wonderful places in the north of Brazil, it's hard to know where to go! Unfortunately, my dream location, the archipelago of Fernando de Noronha, would cost us at least 2 grand a piece, so that will not be an option...

Quasi Engaged

I am not engaged, I am almost engaged. To the point that when the proposal finally comes, I fear it will be anti-climatic.

While in Brazil the Boy asked my father for permission to ask me to marry him. I know this, not because my parents spilled the beans (because my mom totally would have told me), but because the Boy himself told me.

So in my parents eyes, I'm already engaged ("he did the hardest part, which was asking me" -- my dad said). There is no ring (he hasn't even bought one yet). And he hasn't asked me.

But the other night in bed, discussing out timelines, which must be coordinated with his pending new job that will require training and a move, the Boy picked November. For a wedding. In Rio. Our wedding. That was 4 months sooner than the timeline I had running in my head.

And because November is this year (!!!) I had to tell my parents "No, I haven't been asked, but can you start looking at the details?"

I also found out that there are tons of things one must do in order to marry in a Catholic church. Much more complicated when the church is in a different country. And the husband-to-be is not even Catholic. (Who knew it was so bureaucratic?)

And now, I'm wedding planning. I can't ask friends for tips and I can't tell them yet to keep November open, because I am not engaged. His friends have been informed of the date, but in my end, still no proposal.

I always dreamed of a romantic proposal with tears. I'm afraid when it happens, the first word out of my mouth will be "finally" instead of "yes"

Home

I had a wonderful trip, and loved every single minute of it. Rio was hot, some would even say too hot, with the temperature wavering between the upper 80's and mid-90's, but I love the heat.

The Boy loved Rio as well, got to meet the rest of my family, and now thinks I'm slightly retarded for having left Rio for the US. At the time, I had dreams of a wonderful well paying career, who knew that I'd just end up at a job? One that barely covers the bills?

I visited Brazil many times in the past, I always go for 3 weeks, and usually by the 3rd week I'm aching for home, home now being the US. Last time I visited, that didn't happen, but I had too much going on here to move back to Brazil.

This time, I also didn't miss at all my life in DC. If it wasn't for the Boy, I'd pack things up and move back to the country of samba. It was the first time I visited, that living in the US no longer feels right.

Of course, the Boy doesn't speak the language (though he has learned how to order a beer in Portuguese), and his career, because he actually has one, would end. No US government jobs in Brazil.

I know I could certainly get a better job there than what I have now, since over there my options aren't limited to "only those places that will sponsor me for a visa."

I know that living in a place where winter means it'll drop to the mid-50's at night, is also my kind of weather.

I miss my friends there, who make a genuine effort to see me, and it's amazing how years later we pick up right where we left off.

I miss my family, their warmth, their laughter, their ability to make me laugh and feel loved.

I am missing home. Home now means Brazil. But home is also wherever the Boy is, so in DC I stay, and hope that in a year or so, we'll both be moving to a new place, to a new home. That place won't be the US or Brazil, but hope is one we can both call home.

Christmas 09

This will be my first Christmas with the Boy. (Can you believe it's been almost a year since we first met?) Except, of course, I will be in Rio with my family, and the Boy will be in a boys' trip in the Yucatan (planned before we met, "the last boys' trip" he says, seeing one of the "boys" will be a father in just a few more months).

The Boy is meeting me in Rio a week after I arrive. The week without him will be spent catching up with family and friends, and of course, consumed by thoughts of "when he gets here, I have to show him this" and "when he gets here, he'll have to try this."

The last time I spent Christmas with my parents was in 1998. The last time I spent Christmas in Brazil, with my whole family, was in 1996.

Not by choice, of course. In college, I had night classes, and my last final was always on the 23rd, at night. Seeing that flights to Brazil are overnight (best time ever for long flights), and that xmas eve is the "big" thing for us, a flight out on the 24th would be pointless.

Then I couldn't take time off because I had just started a new job. Or, during my years working for the Brazilian Government in DC, the gotta-work-12-hour-days period was always in December (our fiscal year happens is the same as our calendar year). Then I was at a new job again, and couldn't take the time off.

This year, finally, I will be joining my family. I know it won't be like the holidays I remember, my mom has warned me of that too. Family is older, too busy, not as joyful. It will also be the first time I go to Brazil after this happened. And not having my grandfather there will damper the holiday spirit. But for once, I will be spending Christmas with family.

The Boy and I will be having our first Christmas together this Sunday. We might be a tad hungover after my Company's holiday party (free food and open bar? With signature drinks in each room??). Not sure what our own menu is yet, but we might do it easy and just have fondue. We'll be exchanging gifts then. From the time our xmas starts, until we go to bed that night, there'll be no moving business. Just the two of us (and, well, Lucas). With xmas music in the background, of course.

And I'm totally looking forward to it.