Leaving hell!

"So I got a new job at (huge international organization) and I will be leaving in 3 weeks" -- my boss' head jerks back his eyes get huge, as if this is something that had NEVER crossed his mind. He is truly happy for me as he knows that I am now on a dead-end job -- well, and so is everyone in my office since there is no opportunity for growth and promotions. Ever. The people that have been here 30 years (yep, we got those), are still doing the same thing they were doing 30 years ago.

He is completely shocked. He doesn't know what to do. "No one here is capable of doing what you're doing" he says. Well, if I knew I was appreciated that much, the last few months might have been a bit more enjoyable here at work. But no, I never got one "good job" it has always been "this is what you did wrong" (even when I wasn't the one who did anything wrong, but I digress). Always being told how awful you are, does wonders for your motivation, of course. So I lost the will to do a good job ages ago. And now he tells me how awesome I am, and how no one else will be able to fill in my shoes.

We go to the "big boss" office and tell him the news. He takes it personally, is pissed off, as if I had stabbed him in the back. He is another one who always was quick to point out everything that was wrong. Never once gave me a compliment, and now me leaving is considered a betrayal. What will they do now?

I started this job exactly 3.5 years ago, and at first I actually enjoyed what I did. I had a wonderful boss that took me under his wing and taught me everything I needed to know. But, being in a place where the "management" rotates every 2 years, he was gone in a few months, and my other bosses ever since have never appreciated my work. My motivation at work has been non-existent, and I don't even do that great of a job anymore. Don't get me wrong. I do my job. But there's no longer "above and beyond" in my vocabulary when I'm in there. I'm great at my job, but I stopped caring a long time ago, and now, I just go through the motions.

I don't like to be the worker I have become.

For 3 years I have been looking for a new job. 3 YEARS! Of course, being dependent on a visa means my options are ridiculously limited. Fortunately, I never lost hope. Sooner or later someone was bound to give me a chance.

And here it is: a chance to be the person I once was -- one that enjoys what she does. Because while we all have bad days at work, when every single day is awful, it's hard to get up in the morning, suck it up, and get through those 8 hours in hell.

My job has inspired posts like this one and this one. And of course tons of emails and conversations with my poor friends who had to listen to me bitch for hours on end.

And now I have a chance to start living again, instead of dying inside a little bit every day. I'm already smiling more -- in a couple of weeks, I should slowly be regaining the brain cells lost long ago. Because I used to be a pretty intelligent person, and boy, do I miss that intelligent version of me!

So wish me luck, it is an awesome opportunity, at a great place, with some great people. And I can't wait to get started and enjoy my days at work once again.