I wished on a shooting star

So while trying to get through my day, sleepy as one can be, I got a letter from one of my friends, one of those "this is what's going on with me/updates" letters fitting for the year-end. Had I printed it out, it would have easily filled out two sheets of paper. Obviously a big year for her, and she certainly deserved it, after 2006 had been so devastating.

For me, the year was very uneventful. No big trips, aside for one back home to Rio to see my family, no new loves, no new heartbreaks, no extreme haircuts or makeovers, no moves, no new hobbies (well, except for camping), no new goals, no new best friends, no new degrees. Just like 2006, the year comes to a close and I really don't have much to show for my year. Except for one thing, which at the stroke of midnight when 2007 was officially here, it was my first hope for the year...

The months passed by, and my life still had not changed. However, as I was sitting on a beach chair in Virginia Beach over the summer, with my toes buried in the sand, looking straight up at the dark sky above me with a full view of all the starts, I saw a shooting star, and made my wish. Not of new vacations, new loves, new body. My wish? A new job. Sounds simple and easy for some, but for the few of us depending on a visa, it had been 3 years looking for a new job, to no avail. So I was full of hope when wishing on that shooting star.

Fast forward a few weeks later, I gave notice at the previous hell hole, and this week completed 2 months at my new job. And aside from today, a slow quiet day that has been dragging on because it is right in between two long weekends and most people in my office are gone, most of my days are fulfilling. I love it. I love the place, the people, the work, the atmosphere.

The hell hole? It's a lifetime away. I catch myself smiling for no reason at times, because I feel that now I can finally allow myself to be happy. I no longer cringe when I think of going to work, at the thought of the people I work with. I'm still stressed, but it's from lack of time to do everything I want to do outside of work, of wanting to get back to a routine, of wanting to clean my closets, organize my apartment and being too tired to do so. But the stress no longer comes from a constant feel of failure, of inferiority, of underachievement. Yes, there are a lot of things yet to accomplish in my life, but I again feel like these things are within reach. For being something that only (and barely, in my case) pays the bills, it is amazing how where and how you spend 8 hours a day can influence so much of your life. At the end of the day, I am netting less than I used to earn before, but it is all worth it. It is so worth it. I have hope again.

So though it might be another 15 years until I see a shooting star again (and I don't even remember what I wished for that first time!), for 2008, as the year comes around, at the stroke of midnight, I have some new hopes for this year. A year from now, I hope I will have more great things to look back to. And if not? At least I am free of the hell hole.