I went out on a date with this perfectly nice guy on Tuesday. He was not unattractive, actually he can be described as cute. The conversation was flowing, to the point I lost track of time. To top it off, he has a cute Scottish accent. We have quite a few things in common. He made me laugh, and he thought I was hilarious too.
And yet... And yet... There were no sparks! He liked me, giving me the googly eyes the second half of the night (oh, come on, you've seen googly eyes before, you totally know what I mean), so he was feeling the sparks. I was feeling nothing. He might even have attempted for a kiss at the end of the night (I assumed it was a hug, he got my cheek, it was a tad awkward. What can I say, I hug everyone, so I just assumed that's what it was. I haven't been kissed in a while, damn it, I don't remember these things).
But I just wasn't feeling it. Great date? No doubt. Would I like to go out again? Absolutely. (Actually looks like today is the day for the second date.) But I can't get over the fact that I felt no spark, no chemistry. And though it was the best date I've had in months (really!), at the end of the night I didn't want him to kiss me. I don't remember one guy I have ever dated that I didn't want to kiss at the end of our first date.
These things don't just start out of nowhere. But I still feel like I should go out again, see if there's anything there. I might even take that kiss and see if it changes anything (it really has been a really long time...). But I have a feeling it won't change a thing, and I'll have to give the friends line. Because with all honesty? He would make a kick ass friend.
But can you ruin a guy's confidence any more than when you mention you would just like to be friends?
11/14/08
I need sparks!
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4 comments:
"Let's just be friends" is a hard hill to get over to actual friend-land. I think it can only work if you both feel that way, and if he was giving you googly-eyes... sounds like you're SOL. Give him another shot, if not to hear the Scottish accent for a few more hours...
he also could be one of those people who grows on you... like fungus. It happens, I have proof (nick). It can't hurt to just hang out with him and see if anything more comes out of it, if not then yes move on but at least you gave it more than one chance to manifest itself.
Lilu and Jo -- you know, the whole thing became a non-issue.
At 6pm today he texted me canceling the date saying he was still at work and didn't want to risk being late.
Hey, can't meet at 9 let's meet at 10 instead? I would have said, sure not a problem.
But canceling a date 3 hours beforehand on a Friday night of all things when I don't have a chance to make other plans? You definitely don't deserve a second date.
Too bad, I was actually getting curious at how I would feel about him tonight. Looks like he is not worth my time.
When I first started dating my ex-boyfriend I felt no sparks at all...but after a few dates things were totally different. I'd say give it a try for a few more if you still have a decent time. If there are no sparks by then cut him loose.
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