Moving on is hard to do

Fucking myspace. Just like her I also check my ex's myspace once in a while... Well, looking at his page today, his current girlfriend's profile picture is a her hand with a fucking engagement ring. A fucking ring.

He fucking got engaged. And I knew it was coming. Heck, I predicted this 2 years ago when he left the country. But somehow after all this time it still bothers me. It still bothers the fuck out of me.

I haven't had a serious relationship since he left, and I think that's why this pisses me off. Shouldn't the dumpee find a new person before the dumper?? Wouldn't that be the way the universe can be fair -- the dumpee moves on first?

On the bright side, her ring is so not what I would want for myself -- yellow gold? Ugh. Teardrop diamond? Yuck. No offense to anyone who's been sporting that on their left hand -- just totally not my taste in jewelry.
(If you're wondering, something like this is more my style...)

I'm happy for him, don't get me wrong (though secretly I do wish him a divorce in the future, I should be the bigger person for god's sake). He deserved to find someone that'll make him happy (and hopefully she'll crush his heart!! Oh, bigger person, bigger person... sorry).

But here I am fucking single feeling like crap about myself (too fat, too broke, too single, with a dead end job).

And what doesn't help? The one friend I have that I could call and talk about this is on vacation in Japan. I don't have any other friends here I can call up and get this crap out of my chest. I did text a couple of friends and they offered support -- I do have good friends. But I haven't felt this lonely in a long time -- funny, here is the girl who knows tons of people in town, and not one person I'd feel comfortable calling up right now. So I then blog...

Karaoke night again tomorrow. Seems like for once I'll have a DD, my plan is to get hammered, and screw that I can't afford it, I think it's worth getting myself into more debt by drinking away my sorrows.

Fuck.