And I'm ok!

Somehow, after writing this post, I've been ok. I have not cried, I have not felt sorry for myself, I have not been hopeless. Which is weird, since I always get that after yet another failed attempt at a relationship, even when I know it was not meant to be. Of course, my friend spending time with me on Sunday and Monday night made a huge difference in my outlook on things.

It sort of feels like I have finally been able to breathe again -- the anxiety, the not knowing what was going on, was killing me. Now I feel relieved more than anything else.

So I'm ok. Which is good. I think the part that mostly bothered me was that we had a lot of common interests, and I was looking forward to biking/swimming and doing other activities with someone that likes the same things I do. That, and the ego thing, of course.

I sent him an email (stupid parking pass), and he said that yes, we can still do all these things together, he just didn't think it was fair sending me mixed messages all the time (I'm glad he admitted that), but that it didn't mean he doesn't want to talk to me again.

Whether we'll actually meet up again? Who knows? But right now, I am glad it's over, I really am. He is a great guy -- just not a great guy for me. But sometimes, even fully realizing that, I am incapable of pulling the plug.

This week? I have been back online. Let's give this online dating yet another try!