Off my list

Apologies in advance for my rant...

On Saturday, I hosted a party for my 30th birthday at my place. It was great catching up with friends, some who I haven't seen in months.

Though everyone was wonderful and contributed to the great time I had, there was one particular guest who was so rude, I have absolutely no interest in ever seeing her again. A true friend would not have acted that way.

And though there was no drunken behavior, or embarrassment in front of my friends -- something I might even have forgiven -- it made me uncomfortable to be in my own party, my own house.

Here is an excerpt from a couple of conversations I remember:

Ms. Rude: "My allergies are kicking in. You should have put on your evite that you have a cat so I would know ahead of time"

Me: "Uh, you HAVE been here before, more than once. You knew I have a cat."

Ms. Rude: "A proper hostess would have warned their guests of any pets in the house."

WTF. Seriously. If you're going to a party, and someone's pets could sway your decision in not going, then it's your responsibility to ask the hostess. I don't need to list the things I have at home pre-party (have a cat! Ingredients of food may contain nuts! Food is not gluten-free!). The majority of the guests, herself included, had been there before.

Ms. Rude: "I REALLY wanted to leave but (our mutual friend who she came with) said that you told him that girl is a recruiter and he needs to talk to her, so now he is talking to her and I am stuck here."

Me: "I didn't tell that to him. Who's a recruiter?"

Ms. Rude looking aggravated: "YOU told him she's a recruiter, why did you tell him that then. I just want to leave"

Me: "Sorry, she might be for all I know, but I wasn't the one who told him that"

Later, talking to the Boy, turns out that one of my friend's friend was in fact a recruiter, and our friend, who has been laid off, was talking to her, after she herself announced that she might be able to help him. I'm not sure why Ms. Rude was making this up, but to be honest, it sounded more like she was upset that our friend (who has liked her in the past but she is not interested in him) was not giving attention to her, but to another girl instead.

Later...

Ms. Rude: "Do you still talk to the cafeteria manager? That American guy? Is he still there?" (I should note that she used to work in my company, but left 4 months ago)

Me: "American guy? No, I have never talked to him"

Ms. Rude: "No you used to talk to him! You KNOW who I'm talking about! Why are you saying you don't! You KNOW it!"

Me: "Sorry, but I really don't. I used to talk to the other guy that worked there, but he left about a year and a half ago, and I don't even know who took his place. I have no idea who you're talking about, or if he's still there. I don't even go to the cafeteria too often anymore."

Ms. Rude (I thought she was going to slap me): "YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT! THE SHORT AMERICAN GUY! JUST THINK!!"

Me: "I really have no clue. Like I said, since the other guy left, I haven't talked to the new one there"

Ms. Rude (whispering angrily in my ears): "The one you used to think was cute"

Me: "He left well over a year and a half ago. He's Dutch. You know he left, we talked about it, that was ages ago. As I said, I used to talk to him, but have no idea who took his place."

Ms. Rude: "Oh, I didn't remember that he left. I was just curious if he was still there."

Then some friends walked over and started talking to me (and admittedly, I was relieved to be "saved" from that conversation). So we were all chatting in an open circle, and the girl suddenly gives a half smile and says "I'm still here" Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. I'm a hostess, and as a good hostess I need to interact with ALL my guests. And I did not give my back to you, you could have easily joined the conversation.

I don't need rudeness or this amount of high maintenance from a friend. I don't put up with this crap. Seeing she has left my company 4 months ago and not made any effort of keeping in touch, but I still invited her for my party only to put up with this crap, she is definitely one that's off my list. My list of friends. My list of acquaintances. My list of people who is worth put up with. Gone.

I should have done it sooner, a few months ago when I giddily told her: "Jo got a position here, and she's coming back next week!" she replied with a "I don't care" I thought I hadn't heard it right and asked her "what?" only to be met with a louder, clearer, "I DON'T CARE!" I gave myself some distance, but obviously, not enough.

Interestingly enough, a while back Jo wrote this post about the same person.