Continuing my lack of understanding of men, this guy did get in touch with me again, on the day I was about to give up, two days after I wrote my little rant. I replied to his text and proceeded not to hear from him again for another two days. I was dumbfounded. I mean, why make the effort if you were in fact not interested? Wanting to have the last word, as we girls always want to, I sent him a message of the sorts "this text messaging thing is not working, if you would still like to go out give me a call. The invite for tonight is still on" convinced I'd never hear from him again. And that was fine -- it was a clean break, no more expectations of hearing back from him.
Then surprisingly he did call me that same day. And yes, he would join me and my friends that night. He had been too busy with work, he doesn't like talking on the phone, yada yada yada. I take excuses lightly -- if you're interested, you make an effort; if you don't bother, then well, you really weren't very interested, were you?
But we had fun, dancing, chitchatting and some light smooching. Every minute I had alone with my guy friends that night was spent with them trying to convince me that I should "seal the deal" after all, they were all too aware of my dry-spell. Dry-spell or not, I wasn't ready to do anything with a guy who I had barely heard from in almost 2 weeks. However, I have no problems with some snogging...
Today it's been a week since I had officially given up on him, and I have seen him 4 times this past week. He has called me every day. I'm growing attached. My message that I was giving up went through loud and clear, and he is obviously making an effort to show that he is interested.
Of course, with growing attached also means I'm getting scared. I don't remember the last time I had feelings that were reciprocated. And I'm not saying I have feelings just yet, mind you. But I do see the potential there. My guy friends, however, don't really think I should keep my hopes up, after all, I found out his name days after first making out with him, so they believe that based on the circumstances of when we first met, my expectations shouldn't go beyond sexual ones.
And yes, the drought has officially come to an end (hooray!). It had been so long I was surprised I still knew how to do it... But I don't want it to be just that -- it doesn't seem like that's all there is, but I'm not sure yet if there's more to it. Either way, I'm trying to not overthink it much. After all, after spending the best part of my weekend wondering what "I'll talk to you" as a goodbye meant I was shocked to find out that it meant just that. He'll talk to me. And he did.
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4 comments:
A little birdie told me to give you the male perspective here. :-)
"if you're interested, you make an effort; if you don't bother, then well, you really weren't very interested, were you?"
You're dead on here.
That said, his more recent behavior shows that he's definitely interested now. My guess? He had other things going on in his life that took priority over some girl he made out with in a bar (he probably looked at it the same way you did), but you've now become more than "some girl he made out with in a bar" and he digs you, so you've moved up the priority list.
Congrats. Enjoy it.
I think guy friends are naturally disinclined to trust the motives of any guy you might date.
That said, I don't think meeting someone in a bar says anything about the guy. I don't think potential is dependent on location.
Yeah, I agree with LMNT. He's def interested now. Have fun!
BTW, I know the scared feeling. I think it's good to be scared at first because it keeps you cautious. The catch is when to stop being scared and when to let yourself just enjoy it!
Yay, Carla!!!! Dating new people is so much fun. I miss it! I'm so jealous!
But mostly I'm happy for you (as you know, I'm chanting "seal the deal" as well). Hopefully this guy will work out but you know what, the point is that you're happy in the moment and that's what life is about. The moments. Try to make the most of them and have them every day!
Love ya! Miss you!
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