It seems like all guys I've met lately are only interested in a booty call, in having some fun. What is it about me that suddenly has changed from "relationship material" to "banging material"? I still act the same way, and am still not one who sleeps around, but somehow the vibes I give out have changed?
I was excited about the boy I met on Saturday. Too excited, I admit, after all, I barely knew him, we only spoke for a bit, but I like how gutsy he was, no game playing, came straight out and told me what was on his mind, but at the end of the day, my excitement was far from rational, I admit it.
So the Egyptian friend said she was going to give him my info. I haven't heard from him, but am now in that "I don't think I will either" mood. Despite not getting any shy vibes from him, Egyptian friend thinks he won't contact me because he is shy with girls. Really? Even after he came right out and told me he liked me, and I told him I liked him too?
When was the last time anything good romantic-wise has come my way? I've become a skeptic, that doesn't believe in love anymore, that doesn't really think men can fall in love, because it's been so long, that I don't even know if feelings I had in the past were even real. I can't relate to them.
I don't like the person I've become, I am not bitter, mind you, is just that the hope that one day I'll have someone lying in bed next to me at night, holding my hand through difficult times, greeting me with a smile when I walk through the door... well, that hope is vanishing.
Forget about men being unable to love, I don't even know if I'm capable of loving anymore.
1/29/08
Losing Hope
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4 comments:
Forget about men being unable to love, I don't even know if I'm capable of loving anymore.
You are, if you want to be. You're passionate... I firmly believe that passionate people are always capable of love.
I think it's just a crash from the high you were on yesterday. Just be patient, 1) it hasn't been too long and 2) maybe he IS nervous about contacting you. It's a whole different thing meeting someone randomly at a bar and getting the guts to call!
Thank vvk and Jo for the nice comments!
Jo, I know it's early to expect his call, I'm not disappointed because he HASN'T called yet, but mostly because I no longer think he WILL call at all.
I agree with VVK. And? There are a lot of mediocre men around. You want a great one, and you will meet him. It's hard not to get disheartened. It's not you or anything you are doing, though.
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