I think I may have found a good one...

Nothing like meeting (and liking!) a new guy, to have waves of insecurities running through my veins again.

It absolutely does not make sense that this guy who made clear he wanted to "win me over" from the moment I met him, is now making me feel insecure.

And no, he has not given me any reasons. It's me, being the woman I am, that overthinks things and worries too much.

Yes, he won me over. And while at the beach, I admit I took him for granted. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. I, on the other hand, spent time with him, but if he wasn't around I wasn't looking for him either, I was enjoying my space. We were living in the same house for 7 days straight, after all. And we were officially seeing each other 6 of those days.

I spent the most of the time unsure whether I was still going to see him once we left the beach. Did I like him enough to make the time to see him once we were back in the "real life" away from the stress-free time at the beach? He wasn't my usual type after all, and I hate to admit that it bugged me. Too short, too chubby, balding, and, as my friend described him, walks like a penguin. But now? I just think he is cute.

And not as rough around the edges as I had assumed... Not long ago I wondered if chivalry was dead. He opens the car door for me, he walks me back to my car, and other little things that I appreciate.

By the last day at the beach, I was sure I liked him. I was definitely still interested in seeing him back in DC and bringing him around to meet my friends (short, chubby, balding and all!). So, the day after we got back home, we went out. And it was wonderful. He has officially swept me off my feet -- something that hasn't happened in months, or more accurately, years. I've been wondering out loud if I would ever fall in love again, and now, I can see that possibility of it happening again. Because now, I'm very giddy and can't stop thinking about him. And it feels so good! I always knew that it only takes one day to meet someone, and while I was still a skeptic two weeks ago, now I am back to my old, hopeful, romantic, pre-blog days self.

We hold hands, we hug, we say sweet little things to one another that I am sure would make any passerby throw up. We exchanged "I miss you" emails, before even spending 24 hours apart. And yes, I missed the hell out of him.

But now, of course, I am full of worries. What if he likes me less now? What if he just liked the challenge, my "I don't really care" attitude that I had at the beach? Now that I am, in fact, interested, what if he loses interest? I am just going to get my heart broken again, aren't I? The fact that I haven't heard from him since yesterday afternoon is not helping either...

It's too soon, I know, but next time I see him I'll have to ask if we're on the same page. Seeing other people or just each other to see where it goes? I have a feeling though that we are in fact on the same page. But actually hearing him say it, as opposed to just assuming it, might put a lot of these insecurities to rest. I hope.

Either way, we have plans in two days and again on Saturday night. The butterflies have already started fluttering in my stomach.

My apartment? Looks like my closet vomited all over the place. It is a mess. I now have two nights to sort out the mess and scrub it clean before he gets to see it.

The anxiety is killing me. I can't wait to see him again.