Refreshing

If nothing changes in the next week and a half, I think it is safe to say that Scottish Guy is out of the picture.

I have not heard from him at all since he told me he was delaying his return by another week. Pretty Boy, on the other hand, has contacted me every single day since meeting me. He has shared his schedule so we know when we're both available, and asked for mine.

And today, we're meeting up for drinks after work, probably with some of his friends. Saturday, he's coming to a party with some of my friends. I don't keep worrying that he might cancel something at the last minute, like I did with Scottish Guy.

He has mentioned how he wants to see me play volleyball. When Scottish Guy asked to go out on a Monday, I told him "I have a game at 8, you're welcome to come -- $2 beers!!" and his reply was a short "I'll pass."

Said that, with all the good things comes, of course, fear. I am terrified now. That his interest will dwindle. That he will notice I'm too fat. That he'll freak that I'm too interested. That I'm not funny enough. That I'm not pretty enough.

I wasn't worried about any of these things while I still had Scottish Guy in my head. Now that Scottish Guy is not even in the competition, it becomes real.

It can actually become something more, you know, it can be a relationship. And it has been a long time since I felt like this. And that scares the hell out of me, because I don't usually get my walls down so soon.

The fact that he doesn't play games, has contacted me every day since meeting me (and can make me laugh with his text messages and facebook status updates!), and has not hid his interest, allowed me to put my guard down early and show him that I am also interested. And now I'm afraid of scaring him off (even if he's not afraid of scaring me off).

We'll see how tonight goes. Either way, I'm getting used to his "good night" texts :)