Born Again Christians

No offense to anyone here. I'm Catholic, but being from a country where about 80% of us are Catholics, well, there's a wide range of faith here. I believe in God and what not, but I'm in no way considered religious. I mean, last time I went to church was for a wedding. The time before that? I honestly can't remember. I think how I live my daily life has a bigger impact than if I go to church every Sunday or not.

Which is funny because the two serious relationships I've had were with guys way more religious than me. WAY more. Both knew it was unlikely that I'd convert (I'm not a hypocrite after all -- not being a very religious Catholic, would make no sense to convert to another religion I won't be too religious at). Both used that as one of the reasons for ending things (though the one I was with for 2.5 years used that as the main reason -- dude you knew that from day one, now you tell me?? On my birthday nonetheless? I digress, that's a post for a different day).

The other one used it as one of the reasons an attempt for a long-distance relationship wouldn't work as he expected to be a pastor someday (or something of the sorts), and it would look bad if his own wife was of a different religion.

Oh, I should mention that both of these guys were also Christian, so we're not even talking about different core beliefs here.

Anyway... I really don't care about other people's religions -- at the end it's all veering towards the same goal, being kind to each other, etc, so I'm fine if people believe in other things than I do. As long as you're not hurting other people with your beliefs, it doesn't bother me one bit who you call God, or what your practices are. Feel free to do whatever you want, just don't attempt to convert me and leave me alone -- I'll leave you alone too.

So, on that note, I had a coworker who's a "born again Christian" And she used to pass by my office singing about "His love" this "Lord" that. First anyone singing anything while I'm trying to concentrate at work already bothers me. Now religious songs? Why oh why, you come into my office to look up a file singing that and keep on singing it? I used to deal with contracts, a lot of reading, editing, and translating. It was just inconsiderate, but the fact that it was also a religious thing, made it worse, because she was forcing me to listen to something that was unrelated to work, unrelated to my own beliefs.

Despite not caring about other people's beliefs, hers actually bothers me a lot. Why? She's actually a nice girl. I honestly like her. But she is completely and totally brainwashed. COMPLETELY.

Last year, while she was a whopping 21 years of age, she was telling me how she doesn't date. That the guy she thinks has potential will subsequently go to counseling at church with her so that they can see whether they're right for each other to get married, it's not dating, it's a preparation for marriage. "You're only 21!!" -- doesn't matter.

Then she mentioned how she likes a guy "but he just got laid off, so I can't consider him, as I want a husband who can support me, as I want to be a stay-at-home mom" Ugh, you know, he can get a new job. And you know that regardless of how stable a person is, they could also lose their job overnight too? Then what would you do then? But she wants none of it.

She wants to get married. Well, so do I, duh, we all do. Oh, no, she wants to get married NOW. "You're only 21!!!!!"

She now has a real boyfriend. I know she's not having sex, if you want to save yourself, fine by me, as long as I'm not the one dating you. Those of use who are not saving ourselves know how sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. But if you want none of it until you're married? Sure, by all means, do whatever you want.

But it bugs me that she won't even kiss the guy. She's now 22, has a real life boyfriend and doesn't kiss him? "Because I don't trust myself on when to stop" It's kissing!! What do you do, hold hands?? How in the world is that a relationship? If you don't trust yourself (don't even get me started here), then go to a movie and make out, like we used to do as teenagers. She has kissed other guys in the past, so it's not like she's never done it.

Ah, yeah, and by the time I left, they were dating for 2 months and they had already had a serious talk about marriage. They hadn't (and haven't) even kissed and he has mentioned marriage, a serious discussion about it.

I'm scared for her.

On a side note, when I left my job, she gave me a book, something like "true love waits" or something (I tried finding it on amazon, but can't remember the exact title). Inside she had paragraphs highlighted that mentioned abstinence. She told me I should read it. I was dumbfounded. My reply? "Come on, I'm almost 30, too late for that now. Actually it's been too late for that for a looong time."

Seriously? If you want to save yourself, that's your choice, I respect that. But don't expect me to do the same. I never planned on saving myself, so I'm not going to start that now. Boy, she doesn't know what she's missing...