Boy vs Ex

I knew it was coming. Sooner or later I was going to bump into the ex, who is now back in DC. (I have talked about him before here, here and here.)

The last time I saw him, it was hard. Not because there were still feelings there, but at that time I had not fallen in love again, still wondered if he had been my one chance, if he was the one that got away. I didn't even know if I was ever going to fall in love again.

Now, upon unexpectedly seeing him on Saturday, I didn't look at him as if he was an ex, a man that has shared my bed, but as if he is a long lost friend. Because it's been 4 years. Four years is a very long time. Four years is an even longer time for a relationship that only lasted 6 months.

I gave him a hug, welcoming him back in town. I was introduced to his pregnant wife, who looked like she was about to strangle me. I can only assume is immaturity on her part -- I truly do hope, that her insecurities aside, that they are happy together.

I introduced them both to the Boy. We were already on our way out the door, however, since we had to get up early the next morning to run the Army Ten Miler, so the night ended there.

It was funny seeing how threatened his wife was by me. I can't help but think "Honey, he married YOU and got you pregnant -- in that order! Don't you worry about me!" I've been terrified that his arrival back in town would mean our common friends would pick sides. His side, of course, since I met them through him. His wife feeling that way toward a girlfriend he left over 4 years ago, is not helping my case.

I hope his wife understands that I am not a threat. I don't want her husband. After meeting the Boy, I have no doubt that the ex was not the person I was meant to be with. No doubt.

My life with the Boy is spectacular. It's easy, it's loving, it's open. We have been together for just over 9 months, but we exchanged our first "I love you's" 2 weeks in. We just knew it. It was premature, sure, but nothing has changed. Our respect, love and understanding for each other just gets stronger each day. We've been officially living together for a month now, he's been basically living with me for 4 months, and my life with him is wonderful.

It's the way relationships should be like. Don't get me wrong, I had a good relationship with the ex, but it pales in comparison to what I have with the Boy. The Boy is not just my boyfriend, he is in every sense of the word, my partner.

I've never had to overthink things with the Boy -- if I think it, I can tell him about it. I don't have to worry about a reaction, or worse, an overreaction. He doesn't make me feel insecure. I know what he's thinking, what his plans are, where I fit into his present, and where he sees me in his future. We make plans. We talk about marriage, wedding, kids, even retirement.

I know that when he thinks ahead, he's assuming I'm right there with him. And he knows it is the same for me.

Life with him is comforting, it's exciting. We have shared our fears, we have shared our dreams. And the more we get to know each other, the more we realize that we are perfect together. He is my lover and my best friend. I cannot imagine my life without him.

Relationships shouldn't be work. They should just work. Sure, there are tough times, and there will be tougher times, and we'll get through them. We have disagreed (don't even get us started on politics), we have fought, we have cried, we have made up.

But neither of us ever doubt our love or our future together.

And every day, while I'm here at work, I can't wait to get home and give him the tightest hug I can. There's no better way to officially end my work day, than feeling his arms around me, his breath on my neck.

So to Mrs. Ex, I must say: don't waste your time being worried about me, honey. I wouldn't trade our lives for the world.